Deadly Awakening Read online

  “Hungry, were you?” said Rose. This time there was a bigger smile on her lips. It suited her.

  “Yes,” I said again as I finished chewing the last pieces of fruit. The word had worked for me so far.

  “A good appetite is a good sign,” she added.

  “Yes,” I said again, getting the hang of it now.

  “Though I can’t recall ever seeing anyone eating hospital food with such eagerness.”

  I thought about this for a few seconds. “It was very good,” I said.

  “Really? Tasteless sauce and overcooked spaghetti? You did hit your head, didn’t you?”

  “Yes,” I added helpfully.

  That made her laugh and cry at the same time. It really was too much of a riddle for me, so I simply waited for her to finish.

  “Oh God, Ben. How could this happen? What are we going to do with you?”

  This was not a yes or no question, and anyway I had no idea how to answer her. I didn’t even know why she seemed determined to stay in this white and hardly furnished room with me. Or, more accurately, with Ben.

  “You know me,” I said. “Could you tell me a little about yourself?”

  She wiped away her tears and nodded. “It’s Rose. Rose Klein. I’m a nurse here… obviously. This is Ashdale Hospital. I work in the ER. I’ve known you… we have known each other since we were kids, Ben.”

  That was not correct. She had known Old Ben of course. I had only just met her. Still. I felt some compassion for her plight. She thought her friend was injured, but it was truly worse than that.

  “Rose?” said a voice long before its bearded owner had walked in through the door. Right behind it came the form of a young man, likely Ben’s own age or a couple of years younger. He was a little bit shorter though and he had a few more pounds around the waist. He was dressed in jeans and a blue and white striped shirt, carrying a satchel over his shoulder. His face was the friendliest I had seen. Granted, I had not seen many so far with these new eyes, but still. The guy was simply likable. And talkative.

  “Rose, I got your message, oh my God. Is it true, has he lost his memory? Hi Ben. Oh, you wouldn’t remember me going all soapy on us. Seriously, can something like this really happen? I mean amnesia? For real?”

  I blinked. “Is that my name then, Soapy?”

  “No,” Rose sighed. “Don’t listen to him. This is Peter, my brother.”

  “Hi,” Peter ventured and gave a halfhearted wave in case I would confuse him with the other and invisible man in the room. “Come on, Ben. What the hell happened? Were you in an accident?”

  “I don’t know,” I lied. Bewilderment and confusion were soaring through the body as a result of my failure to leave it. I still managed to think somewhat straight, and telling the truth of what had happened to me, or Old Ben, would not be a good idea. I knew what inconveniences I would be troubled with if they thought I was not in my right mind or if they knew what Old Ben had done. Best to go with the amnesia thing.

  “They found him washed up by the river,” Rose added. “The paramedics swore that he had broken several bones, but there wasn’t a mark on him when he came here. Nothing wrong except he doesn’t remember anything.”

  “Jeez, Ben. What the hell?” Peter said.

  “I still don’t know,” I said. They both looked at me like they were expecting something from me. “I remember waking up next to the water, and then here. That’s it.” It didn’t help much. They were still looking at me, especially the woman. I tried a different approach, diverting the attention away from myself. “What kind of siblings are you?” I asked. The woman had eastern features and the man western, so despite my situation, I got a bit curious.

  “First of all, wow,” Peter said. “Did you become archaic in your head today? Eastern-looking… seriously. She’s Korean. Anyway, we have the same dad.”

  “So, you have also known Ben… me… since childhood then?”

  “Yeah, don’t you remember… oh… well, we all grew up on the same street, went to the same schools, more or less. It’s so weird to have to tell you these things.”

  “It’s even weirder to hear them, trust me on that,” I said, but of course the true meaning of that escaped them. “So, what is it you do, Peter? Are you a nurse as well?”

  “Hah, we try to keep the patients alive you know,” Rose smirked.

  “I work with developing computer games and some freelance work of course. But you know about that… no you don’t. Damn, this is confusing.” Peter looked like someone trying to shed his skin the way he was twisting, looking like he wanted to bolt and stay at the same time.

  “Peter,” said Rose, “it’s not contagious. Calm down.”

  It seemed to work. At least the man stopped squirming. “You’re the eldest, aren’t you?” I said to Rose. She was about to answer, but yet again there was someone at the door.

  “Rose, Ben. I just got the message. I was in a meeting and—”

  The owner of the voice stopped as he got into the room and saw me. The sight of me in a hospital bed was not what he had expected for some reason. That struck me as strange. He had to have known since Rose had informed him, but then again Peter did not seem to want to acknowledge the truth either. Very strange behavior indeed. The man had dark brown hair, he was clean shaven and dressed in a suit. As humans go he was handsome and he got a look of relief from Rose as he came further into the room, as if he himself could fix anything that was wrong. Not bloody likely, I thought. Not this problem.

  “Are you all right, Ben? What happened?”

  I was about to answer, but Rose got ahead of me. “This is Walter. My fiancé,” she told me, and then turned back to him, “and no, it’s not all right. Ben’s lost his memory.”

  “Yeah, you said as much in your message… but seriously?”

  “Oh my God, yes, seriously. Amnesia. Get it into your heads the both of you.” This was followed by complete silence. Rose the nurse. So calm and tiny compared to the rest of us, but clearly the highest authority.

  I did not care much for this silence. Although I wanted them all to leave, so I could, in turn, do the same, it was clear that that wasn’t going to happen. But the silence and stares were more than I could bear. “And how is it we know each other then? Through Rose here?” I asked the newcomer.

  “You see?” Peter broke in. “He doesn’t even sound like himself. All formal like.”

  “Oh come on, Peter. Something happened to him,” said Walter and then looked at me. “No, we met in college. And then Rose and I met through you.”

  “Walter is a lawyer. He works here at the hospital. In the legal department,” Rose added.

  “Yeah, but that’s not important right now,” her fiancé said. “What actually happened?”

  At this point, I was starting to get a bit exasperated. I was supposed to be suffering from memory loss, so why did they keep asking me what had happened? Did they truly expect an answer? Looking back at my first moments in the hospital it is not surprising that I got the same question again and again. Apparently, this is normal procedure when people don’t like the answer they are getting in the first place. When it does not suit them. And so, yet again, I had to utter the increasingly familiar words, “I don’t know.”

  Rose seemed to understand this frustration because she took over. Explaining that something traumatic was the most likely cause. That I had been found next to the river – unconscious, and that we would not know much more until a doctor had done a proper assessment of me. This, of course, would be futile. Old Ben would never have his memories back because he was no more. And now I had to deal with his friends and also doctors. It was an annoyance.

  “But how long does it usually last?” Walter asked when Rose was done.

  Forever, I wanted to say. Rose, though, shrugged and told us it could be days, it could be longer.

  “Can’t we hit him over the head and see if that works?” said Peter.

  The memory of the pain from the body fusing with
me by the riverside instantly came back. The thought of feeling that immense pain again was intimidating. I did not like the way it made me feel at all. The muscles tensed, I felt cold and warm at the same time and I became acutely aware of every person around me. I realized it had to be fear, and in the midst of it I had no knowledge of how to interpret irony so like an idiot I looked at Peter and blurted, “Why would you do that?”

  “What? No, I—”

  “Don’t listen to him,” Rose interrupted. “It was only a stupid joke. We don’t know anything yet. We need to wait and hear what the doctor has to say.”

  “But I don’t need a doctor,” I protested.

  “Yes, you do.” She paused for a moment and looked at me. I had no way of interpreting the look. “And I think,” she continued, looking at her brother and fiancé, “that you need to rest.”

  To this, I had no objections. If they would only leave me alone, maybe I could calm down enough, simply focus enough to leave the weak shell in which I was imprisoned. However, after they had shut the door behind them, it didn’t go as I planned. I had closed the eyes and was concentrating on steadying the breath. Trying repeatedly to separate from the flesh that seemed glued to me. At some point during this ordeal, everything went black. Apparently, the body claimed rest and care after the ordeal it had been through, and I had no say. For a while, I disappeared into a black and unknown oblivion.

  Chapter 5

  It turned out to be sleep of course. So far, I had only passed out or been drugged. Normal sleep took me by surprise. It was a strange sensation waking up. It happened slow, with a lingering drowsiness that I had to blink away. I knew what sleep was, but the experience was startling. How could it be that it didn’t throw people into a panic? Disappearing for so long. Having no control over the body. It was disturbing. I was, however, not given too much time to think about it. There were voices in the room. I looked around and saw Rose and Walter standing by the door, talking in low voices so as not to wake me.

  “—have happened?” I heard Walter saying.

  “That’s not what worries me most right now. He seems so completely… oh I don’t know… irregular.”

  “Yeah, but isn’t that normal? He lost his memory. It’s only natural that he acts differently.”

  “Listen, Walter. I have seen a couple of cases like this before, and something’s amiss. He didn’t panic. He didn’t even seem worried. He hasn’t asked anything about himself. That’s what they do, you know. When they don’t know who they are, there’s nothing they want more than to find out.”

  “But haven’t you and Peter Pan been force-feeding him information about himself? Besides, we don’t know what happened to him. Even if he doesn’t remember the trauma, it doesn’t mean he’s not traumatized, does it? Maybe he’s still in shock?”

  “I guess you’re right, but… oh God, Walter, he didn’t even remember that he’s right-handed.” She started crying again, but this time she was pulled in to her fiancé’s embrace for comfort. This should probably have touched me, but I must admit that I didn’t really care. I was more interested in where her brother had gone since he was the one suggesting hitting me in the head. I didn’t get to ask them, however, as there came a knock at the door. Walter let go of Rose and opened it.

  A familiar voice said, “I’m looking for a…” and then there was some rustling of papers, “a Benjamin Reed.”

  I sat up a little at this, drawing the attention of both Rose and Walter.

  “He’s here,” said Walter, “but he’s not well. Who are you?”

  “Detective Jones,” said the voice. “I need to ask him some questions.”

  “Surely you can do that later. As I told you, he’s not well.”

  “This is a matter of some urgency, and I—”

  “It’s fine,” I interrupted at this point. “Let her in.” I have to admit I was curious. I remembered the voice from the river, and sure enough, the same woman who’d been there when I woke up came into the room. I still had no idea how to interpret her look, but it made me uncomfortable for some reason like I had done something I shouldn’t. When she didn’t say anything, I decided to break the silence. In retrospect, that was likely her tactic.

  “Is that my name then?” I looked at Rose who nodded.

  “Didn’t we tell you?” she added.

  No, they had not. They had told me much else, but not that. Then again, as she had pointed out moments ago, I hadn’t asked either.

  “Aha… yes, the nurse outside said there was a case of… amnesia,” said the policewoman. Her strategically placed pauses were clear enough even for me to catch on. She didn’t believe any of it.

  “We don’t know too much yet,” Rose said as she and Walter came closer.

  “Oh, I’m sure.” Jones was smiling.

  “What exactly is it we can help you with?” said Walter.

  “You? Nothing. I have to talk to Mr. Reed here about this morning.”

  “Sure,” I said, knowing that people in this part of the world in general trusted men and women of the law and usually did what they asked. Not to do so could lead to more problems and I felt I had enough of those at this point.

  “Can you tell me what happened last night?”

  “No, not really.”

  “No, huh?”

  “I don’t remember anything.”

  “Of course. Meaning you don’t know how you ended up in the river?”

  “Exactly.”

  “What do you remember?”

  “I remember waking up. Then there was cursing, that was you, I believe, and then there was a lot of shouting. A man I think.”

  “Yeah, that was the paramedic. You were mistaken for dead, you see. Broken bones, no pulse, very pale. Very dead. And then you woke up.” She narrowed her eyes at this last part.

  I went back to the simple “yes” at this. It did not seem to work very well with this woman though.

  “An occurrence such as this is highly unusual.”

  “Is there a point to this?” said Walter. “Surely it’s not against the law not to die?”

  “No, it’s not.”

  “Then why these questions about where he was last night?”

  Jones ignored this and looked at me instead. “And you don’t remember seeing any other people last night?”

  I remembered the people on the bridge trying to stop Ben, but I did not think that was what she was asking, and anyway I couldn’t very well say anything about it so yet again I had to answer that I didn’t know. Jones just nodded silently.

  “You’re sure you want to stick with that answer?”

  At this point, I was starting to get annoyed because of these people who couldn’t deal with the answers they got. Walter, however, suddenly took charge.

  “You know what? I want to know why you’re asking these questions.”

  “And why is that?”

  “Because I’m his lawyer, and the way you’re talking it seems like he needs one. Especially since he doesn’t know his own name.”

  Jones smirked. “A lawyer already huh?” Apparently, that told her something about me, something I didn’t understand at the time. “Well,” she continued. “You were not the only body washed up from the river. We got the call of two bodies this morning, you and another one. It washed up fifteen yards away from where we found you.” She paused again and looked closely at me, the amber eyes trying to burn into me, her face framed by her dark hair. I had no idea what to say to this because I didn’t know how it affected me at all. It was a good thing Walter was there

  “I assume you mean a dead body?”

  “Yes, I do, and not just any dead body, but the body of Dimitri Okanov, a well-known person to the police. The pathologist puts his death to a couple of hours before we found you. That is why I want to know what you were doing last night.”

  I was about to say something, but Walter stopped me. “You don’t have to say anything,” he said firmly. “Is my client a suspect?”

  �
��A suspect?” Rose interrupted. “How can he be? He writes self-help books for God’s sake.”

  “I do?” I blurted and then wondered why. What was it with this stupid body that made me say things without thinking them through?

  Jones and Walter ignored the both of us. “A suspect? I would call him a person of interest.”

  “Well at this time, your person of interest can’t remember his own phone number let alone what happened to him or your victim.”

  “So it seems.”

  “Which is why I suggest that we resume this interview at another time,” Walter pressed.

  Jones looked at him for a long time, but in the end, she smiled and nodded. “I’ll need his clothes and belongings though. Everything he had on him when he was brought in.”

  “Of course. We’re only happy to cooperate.”

  “Oh, I’m sure you are.”

  Walter got Rose to help Jones find my things, and as soon as they left the room I asked Walter if I was in some sort of trouble. He seemed to think this through for a little while. “I hope not, but I don’t like this detective. There’s too much of a bloodhound about her.”

  Chapter 6

  The next two days went by – oh so slowly. I was shut up in a white and sterile room with nothing to do except talk to Ben’s friends who popped by all too often. I talked to a doctor who wanted to know unimportant things, and experienced other unpleasant things as well. The food was still good though. It was the horrible body. I could not get rid of it try as I might. And the thing was burdensome. There was itching, yawning, muscle cramping from lying still, pain in the head, and do not get me started on emptying the bowels. I honestly cannot understand how you can live like that. I will not go in to detail and even though there was a point of relief the thing was repulsive. The thought of having to do that again was enough to make me forget my boredom for a little while. Nevertheless, it was the doctor who was worst. He kept asking questions I couldn’t answer and the ‘I don’t knows’ were starting to annoy me. I was realizing a few things though, not that I could tell the doctor. I knew I didn’t belong in the body and that I was not human. I could remember seeing Ben and subsequently taking over. I could also remember many things from other places – and other times. At least I thought so. It was rather tangled up. I knew that these were not Ben’s memories, they were without a doubt mine, but they were difficult to sort out. The reason for that I discovered the second time the doctor came to bother me. I knew certain things about myself and had no problem separating myself from Ben, but it became clear to me that I was not entirely sure who I was. I had a strong sense of me, but little regarding my identity and purpose. It was difficult to fathom since I had such a distinct memory of being me before I trapped myself in the body. I was something different from the people around me, older as well, I was in no doubt about that. When realizing this it also dawned on me that I did actually have some form of memory loss. It was not a complete lie. Was that what had been hindering my escape from the body? It seemed like as good an explanation as any other. It was therefore that I decided that I had to get my memory back. I also informed the doctor of this, not the actual reason of course, but at least he became a bit more bearable afterward. Apparently, I had said something he wanted me to. It did not matter much to me. I was stuck there with little to do. There were always people watching over me. The need to leave was strong, and so, on the second evening of my stay at the hospital, I got out of bed and left the room. Peter had brought me some clothes so I could wear something other than the hospital-gown, and so it was that I took a stroll in the hospital corridors wearing a T-shirt and pajama bottoms.